Understanding your au pair for best results

"A happy au pair is almost always a good au pair."

This statement may seem straightforward, but it highlights an essential truth: the happiness of your au pair is crucial for a successful experience.

Understanding your au pair's motivation

Families decide to have an au pair because they want to have help in managing childcare and performing household tasks. And every suitable au pair must be willing and able to help with these needs in the family and to find some pleasure in doing so. 

But it would be naive and unrealistic for a family to believe that providing these services is the main reason for a young person to become an au pair. Au pairs can be seeking many different experiences. 

To develop a positive relationship with your au pair, consider two key questions:

1. How prepared is your au pair to take on the responsibilities you'll assign?
2. What personal motivations does your au pair have for becoming an au pair and integrating into your family?

The au pair's personal agenda

You want a capable, enthusiastic young person as part of your family team. But what does your au pair seek?

Many au pairs express a desire to wanting to learn a second language, which is undoubtedly a significant benefit of their experience abroad. However, this goal often encompasses a broader array of aspirations, such as:

• Exploring new cultures
• Seeking adventure
• Gaining independence

Having open discussions about these personal goals during the selection process allows you to understand potential candidates better. This understanding increases the likelihood of finding an au pair who can seamlessly integrate into your family while pursuing her own journey of self-discovery.

Work-life balance is key

Because the au pair job is a "means to an end", the balance between au pair duties and the rest of the au pair's experience is a key factor in creating a situation where your au pair can be happy and do her job successfully.

Au pairs perform best with the daily tasks of family life and childcare when:

• They are not working too many hours per week (30 hours is recommended in many countries)
• They can look forward to doing things they really enjoy in their free time

These are basic considerations in making the win-win premise of shared benefits in the au pairing situation really work.

Family life: Part of a larger whole 

Belonging to a family is not a full-time job. For all of us, it is part of what we do while we do other things as well. The same is true for an au pair who joins your family. The fact that your au pair is looking for more than just the childcare activities she'll be performing in your family is the most natural thing in the world.

We share things in a family and contribute productively to family life best when we also have other areas in which to express ourselves. Recognising this basic fact and structuring your au pair's experience around a healthy mix of family tasks and free time is the best way to have a happy au pair (and a great au pair experience).